Saturday, July 24, 2010

When did I become an acronym?

So, turns out, I'm an acronym. I thought I had been able to avoid them all, but it's true. According to a FB friend of mine, I'm a PANK.

What is a PANK you ask? Why, I'll tell you.


I'm not so sure I love this. But, what I do love is that someone out there has developed a brand around it called Savvy Auntie. I do dig the concept of being a Savvy Auntie.

Truth be told, I'm a pretty fabulous Auntie. Number 1, I've had fabulous examples to work from. I have four actual Aunties that I love to pieces. Secondly, I am a student of the Auntie Mame school of how to be an Auntie. Thirdly, when it comes to kids, I seem to have the patience of a saint. Maybe it's because I never had my own kids running around asking the same questions a million times in a row. Maybe not. Maybe I was born that way. One of my adopted Aunties (heretofore known as just Aunties, it's irrelevant whether they are blood related or not) came up with the only reason that makes any sense about why Aha and I weren't able to have our own kids and thus I have so much patience with kids.

Auntie B thinks that in my prior lives (all of them) I had tons of kids. They were everywhere in every life. She thinks that I only agreed to come to this life if I didn't have any of my own.

Now, as someone who would have given her eye teeth for the ability to have her own kids, and as someone who has been diagnosed as "Unexplained Infertility" by well respected Doctors such as Dr. H., I will GLADLY take this explanation as the reason that my uterus kicked out the embryos.

Hey, you got a better one? Send it on.

So, PANK. Hm...the jury is out on how I feel about that. But I will tell you this. I am a(n):

Auntie to 11 (two of which kind of look like me!!!)
Great Auntie to 20
Great Great Auntie to 2
Adopted Auntie to more than I can count

Why is it good to be an Auntie? Here are some of my reasons:

1. You can tell anything to an Auntie and she will keep it secret - from everyone (unless your physical health is concerned, but then she'll handle it delicately to protect you as best she can)
2. You can call your Auntie whenever you want for whatever reason you want.
3. You can call your Auntie to come get you from wherever you are, having done whatever you've done, with whomever you've done it with and she will come get you and take you home with her, tell your parents where you are and not discuss it until the morning.
4. You can have dessert for lunch with your Auntie (most times)
5. She loves all your school pictures and wants them every year please
6. You can ask your Auntie the same thing over and over and she'll never tire of it
7. You can ask your Auntie ANYTHING about ANYTHING even if you are so embarrassed to ask you can barely get the words out of your mouth and she'll always answer and never tease you about the question and will tell you the truth when she answers.
8. You can call your Auntie and complain about your parents and she will listen (and sometimes might even agree!)
9. You can sleep at your Aunties house when you want - all you have to do is call and ask
10. You can make mistakes with your Auntie and she will not yell at you about them - EVER.

So what does this all mean? Does it make up for not being able to have my own kids?


But, what it does do is give me that feeling of "I love you more than anyone else" for the short time that the kids are with me.

And that is something that an Auntie can't pass up.
Auntie Dena.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Auntie Dena,

    You are the exact reason why I developed I too am infertile (but the 'circumstantial' kind - I haven't met Mr Right) and I love my nephew and nieces to bits (I love your list!!)

    And you and I are not alone. Nearly 50% of US women are childless. 1/5 of women age 40-44 are childless. And even when we have children, it's later in life than ever before, giving us plenty of time and resources to focus on our nieces and nephew by relation and by choice. 14% of first time moms are 35 or older.

    That's why I gave us an acronym: PANK. It's marketing speak. We're too powerful, influential (and loving!) for marketers to ignore anymore.

    Or for society to ignore.

    Which is why I also created a special 'day' for us. The second annual Auntie's Day is tomorrow, Sunday, July 25th. It's a day for you and all the other Savvy Aunties to be celebrated for all that we do for the children in our lives.

    I hope your nieces and nephews, great nieces and nephews and great great nieces and nephews find a way too appreciate you tomorrow. In the meantime, I sure do.

    Auntie Melanie